Something Like a Writer: February 2010

EX EX EX WHY ?

Have u ever had an ex that just comes around every so often trying to find there way back into your life some how. whether their approach is positive or negative somehow the result always leaves a bad taste in your mouth, wondering why u even tried to be “friends” in the first place. Especially if it was one of those “we were in love” relationships or the “first love”, “high school sweet hearts” and so on. You get frustrated and turn to others for advice trying to continue to leave the situation civil the no “burnt bridges” approach. Thinking its best to try to leave the time shared together in a happy memory.

What we often forget especially when we are the ones who ended the relationship how difficult that approach may be for the other party. Not saying breaking up isn’t difficult on both ends the dumper and the dumpee both have their share of problems when a relationship dissolves but for the dumpee in the relationship types listed above this can be extremely difficult. Therefore causing the “I cant let go” effect that ultimate aggravates the fuck out of the dumper while he or she is still trying to be the “good guy” trying to avoid looking like the evil heartless person Kanye West wrote a song about.

Another hard part about being the dumper is coming to terms with the fact that in a lot of ways you are the negative. You are the person who put an end to love, the heart breaker etc. your life may have moved on to better things, your confidence at the end could be substantially stronger, more balanced. I’m Not giving the dumpee a reason for being ridiculous and petty by bringing up old Shit or every so often creating an uncomfortable situation but just to bring light on possible reasons why these occurrences could happen.

. We must ask our selves why is it so easy for them to get to us; is it because they know so much about us they can use or weakness as a weapon no matter how long it has been since the relationship ended, Or because we allow ourselves to be too accessible through old connections shared. We must reevaluate friendships i.e. (three degrees of separation) do we really want out close friends to still be close friends of out ex’s? How many headaches and blog posts could that lead to? Just a thought.

We must ultimately look at ourselves as people not just in the means of romantic relationships but in life in general. If there is a negative affecting us a lot of the time it has to do with us and the energy we open ourselves up to. Too often we blame outside situations for our emotional well being and progress in life. We have to take responsibility for how we want our lives to turn out to be. Including how much bullshit we are going to put up with and why? It is important to be aware of other peoples feeling and how we are perceived but only to a certain degree.

I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my happiness or mental health because I’m a dumper who doesn’t want to be a “bad guy”. Which is more important right now how my ex perceives me? or, my happiness? No brainer right. =) . This is the turning point in my life where its time to stare hard in the mirror and realize I have moved on and he hasn’t. I have found peace within me and he hasn’t, or at least if he has his actions do little to reveal that truth.

In all relationships end for a reason usually wrongs were made on both sides. It is time to kick out that fear of being the “bad guy” as of right now I say fuck it I will burn this bridge no matter how much of an enemy I will be. This is only because I need to be true to myself. Being disrespected by old pictures, memories, conversations, I'm done with it. Communication done.. time to come across my new bridges anyone else feel me?

Ex’s (Shaking My Head)

Something Like a Writer

Friday, February 19, 2010

Shower

EX EX EX WHY ?